A man of the cloth

Not many kids are born here, huh? Either kind of born.

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Now that I think about it, there really aren't. Actually, since then I haven't seen any babies or very small children at all, and I've never seen any pregnant women. With two thousand people here, and this not being a military installation or anything, that seems unlikely.

Odd.

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Human nature. People will jump in bed, and accidents happen. Except they don't.

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Exactly. Even assuming that it's easy to get protection and everyone is aware that this is a bad environment to raise children in, there should be something.

All I've heard of is an anecdote about someone getting a "sympathy belly" as payment for a memory crystal, and that's not real pregnancy.

I wonder if there's something in the air or water. But I've heard about the animals breeding, so it can't be that. Maybe there was something in those cocoons.

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Sympathy—now that's creepy.

Do they breed, or do they just show up, too? Most things here do. Makes you wonder where they come from, too.

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He ended up having to wear some kind of weighted vest that was supposed to simulate what it's like to be pregnant - kicking, shortness of breath, back pain. Or something like that. He was somewhat drunk when he talked about it.

[ They exist, and are actually called "empathy bellies". Teach me not to look things up...]

I don't know. There was a [NPC] entry not long after I came here which had someone talking about kittens young enough that their eyes hadn't opened.

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You know, I'll just take ladies' words that having a child is no walk in the oasis and save myself the trouble.

And yet no one's reported witnessing any births. Interesting.

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unevoked.livejournal.com

Think one've the medics said once that we're sterile- animals and shit too.

Kinda a stupid thing to research, if you ask me.

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[A very long pause as he flips many pages back to an NPC's random entry]

I suppose. Someone talked about new kittens, and they had a queen cat washing and taking care of them, but that doesn't mean the queen gave birth.

I wonder if they come out of the same pods.

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[Hi, butting in.]

Pregnancy doesn't happen here? I don't suppose it has to, considering the cocoons.

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[Wait for a second, he's a bit slow. What are the implications of this...]

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[WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!]

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Grift, you cad. At least try not to catch anything, all right?

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I said nothing. I'm merely cheerful that no infants have been brought into a place such as this. It's no place to be rising a child.

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Say that with a straight face, and maybe I'll believe you.

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That's what she said!

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Who said?

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That's what she said.

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She who?

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Just... nevermind. Your joke machine is broken, sir. Or ma'am. It's hard to tell. I'm guessing you're a man, since you aren't using loops or hearts.

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The name's Chapel. I'm a priest.

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Okay, Chapel, my name is Boss. It's nice to meet you. Even if you have no sense of humor, but that's okay! We can work on that.

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And by work, you mean...

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By work, I mean we will work on it. I'm going to teach you everything I know. Well... Not everything. Maybe about a third. Or... A quarter, and... Well, another two thirds. So most of what I know. But that's okay, because I know enough about jokes for the ~~both of us.~~ four of us. Even better.

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Oh, yeah? You sound like a real comedian already.

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That's because I am one, so you're obviously very observant.

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Oh yeah? When's your next show?

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